How to be a kick-ass tutor-

Recession.Yes it has affected all of us.someway,somehow.In my case, my parent have been kind of stingy about  my pocket money.So when  I turned 18 and started college  I realized it was time to start earning my own  money so being typically me I figured the easiest job would be to a tutor. I can now proudly say its 3 (6 months) months now and the experience by all means has been well...ummm...interesting!(this important note to all the people who say they teach for the freedom and all that 's just crap.its all about the money,honey!)

So when you start tutoring the kid-one has to teach  many a subjects that they hated in school.(read:hindi, math) etc.and you have to pretend that you are absolutely great at it. A little about the student i teach- she's a third grader studying in an International school.She can talk and oh boy she can.She wants to grow up and become a actress.She loves reading things but loves reading it out loud  even more.Her idols are hannah montana(no surprise there)and wants to go to papua -guinea when she grows up.she keeps updating me with randoms facts about  the  islands.I teach her english,history geography,math hindi(YES HINDI....#fml) and french(yes i do,and no i dont know the language.)
So to all the budding tutors here are a few pointers hope they help you out.

• kids cry:this is my first important point. the crying can be anything between soft sobs to uncontrollable wailing. Be stern.cause most of these tears are crocodile tears all for your benefit.The reasons are usually undone homework,feeling lazy,undone homework,or a test they havent prepared for,undone homework.but sometimes they have thier own unique reasons.like my students usually starts crying when she has some project to do,or when she just wants to see hannah montana reruns,or when she just feeling to lazy to find her pencilbox.(its not always impotant to be stern but when the mum is around,yeah u got it right?)
  *there always drama involved with  crying like falling off the chair crying,feeling faint etc.

• the toilet syndrome:one of the most important pointers.Kids don't have a lot of patience so inbetween an important lesson or chapter,they will have these sudden urges to roam around and rediscover thier house so to get out of it-"mam can I go to the loo?" will be very frequent question you will hear.This and the sudden urge of drinking water(they can be very convincing )so when the first day you start tuition:ask where the closest bathroom is cause they ll always use the furthest bathroom.ALWAYS.

• they ask questions:very common among thier age is to ask questions.these at times can  so be frustrating.these question have no reason and ryhme.Thier curiosity surpasses mine and that's saying something .Here's an example-

                me: so the Neolithic man was during the stone ages
           student:  but they look like monkeys!
                 me:ya we human evolved from the monkeys,they are our ancestors
         student: what is evolve?Doesnt   the earth do it too
                  me: thats revolve!!evolve is changing in time!
          student: so have u seen any monkey like humans?
                 me: no!!
          student :can i go to the loo?

• the tutor -teacher conflict: this one's a classic/cliche and well we all know about it and have done it sometime,and my student does it too,evertime i try teaching her something new ,the first thing she does  (after whining is)say  "my class teacher didnt teach me that way" and even if its simple addition  the student will always argue about this.In such cases just ignore the kid,because arguing will only lead you to "but my teacher said......"some more twenty times......
   

• the parent -tutor conflict-I have another friend ,who just started giving tuitions some time back and has been having some difficulty with the parent  (re:mom) .Today's parents are obsessed with thier kids education,and not just worried but like my -kid-got-18-out -of 20-she-is-so-going-to-flunk-her-terminals-panic-attack-sort.and in being a tutor you have to bear the grunt all the time.my friend often complains that the parents sits there when she teaching and keeps commenting(re:complaining).So if you are not good with parents,DON'T TRY TUTORING. In my case,her whole family is involved LIKE everybody,while can sometimes be quite too much.
• pseudo-babysitter-The thing about being a teenage tutor is India is somewhat like being a babysitter in the west,except you also teach them,while the parent can do other work .So one has to be prepared to come whatever time its convenient sometimes even sundays.
  
  
  well,there might be many pros to tutoring but i cant really think of any except for the extra cash and the free food :).one more important thing is try not to miss classes and fake illness to go out cause chances are you might actually fall sick next week and have to go anyway since you missed classes giving that excuse already,or even worse you might actually meet them on the road after faking illness on the phone five minutes ago(yeah,it happens).so happy tutoring.
  *i started writing this article three months ago,just took me so long for correction and shit and  yeah dedicated to my friend rupsha ,who gonna start tutoring some unlucky fella very soon:(.

the characters of the examination hall

recently i had my mid semester examination.In the examination hall  having nothing to write and a lot of time to spare. i looked around.i tried identifying the different characters that one finds in an examination hall. Some of those were:

• The well prepared geek: this  guy is the most cliche.Found in almost every examination hall.He is usually the first one to come to class,all stationary in place.and submits paper on time.Be nice to him.Fat chances are that he's gonna be acing the exams.
• The so-much-to-write nerd:   These are  Another stereotype.He definitely gives all the average students a complex.He starts to write the minute the bell rings and keeps on writing till the invigilator takes away his sheets.He is also the one to ask for the most number of sheets.If one notices his expression its somewhere between  a man with constipation and a surgeon doing a surgery.
• The smiling jock: This one is usually late in class and first one to submit his sheet and leave.Some of these students are actually rankers.One will always see a smile on their faces .Never a moment of doubt,even when they view the paper for the first time.
• The watcher: .This student looks at the watch at least 3 times in a minute and  are usually the ones to ask the invigilator "how much time left"? every 10 minutes!!  the reply is usually  followed by super fast scribbling...
• The dreamer: I think most of us belong to this category.the view outside the windows has never felt so interesting as it does during an exam.at any given moment one can see atleast 3 students spaced-out.they can be staring at anything possible even an irrelevant eraser can be as interesting as a movie.
• The nail-biter: During my exams this year ,I spent a lot of time staring at a guy who sat adjacent to me during the exams.He spent 10 minutes of his time biting his nail at different angles while  being spaced out and another then another ten minutes trying to find someone to chuck the bitten nail on .He's not the only one...... nail biters are a frequent sight in an examination hall.
• The love birds/love-struck: Trying to identify them in a class  is not easy but if one pays close attention,one will definitely find them.Usually as fate would have it ,they would be sitting at different corners of the class.While the whole class is glancing around for help these two longingly look at each other and give those secret lovey-dovey smiles.In case of the love-struck-he/she's  the one who keeping looking longingly at his/her crush but  the subject never reciprocates.
• The loo-goer: this student surely drinks a ton of water before an exam.He keeps on wanting to go to the Washroom.Though not allowed most of the time.With an uncontrollable bladder this student at least goes to the loo thrice.Funny thing that  there is always a strange content smile on thier face after they come back from the washroom.
• The peek-a-boo-er: Technically I would have called him a cheater.But this student cant really cheat.He's more like a wannabe pseudo- cheater.He looks around frantically for help.keeps on trying to look at the answer sheets around him but   never catches more than a glimpse.His disappointment on not being able to cheat is similar to a footballer losing in a penailty shot.
• The-clumsy:  I am not sure if this student is genuinely clumsy or tries it as an attempt to cheat.  this students pen,pencil, eraser,sheet,q paper keeps  on falling one at a time or all at one go..
• The socialite:this student glances around looking at other students not to cheat but to just say hi or a whispered "what up"
• this is not a type but the invigilators during an examination hall are immense source of entertainment.if one has 2 invigilator both ladies.eavesdropping their conversation can open new doors to one s ides of what gossip is.if one has a male and female: flirting between the two is a funny sight .the male invigilator being extra nice and giving the lady to sit on the chair,getting her coffee,and trying to make an interesting conversation.all this makes the  examination hall a very interesting place indeed:)